Saying goodbye, saying hello

I'm still battling a bad case of the flu--at least I hope it's that and not a bronchial infection. It has been a crazy couple of weeks, with going to Nashville for the baptism, then having our last module. I regret that I was sick the whole time--and I was not able to celebrate in the way I had intended.

It is strange to think that after two long years this journey is now over. I will still be at my internship for the month of November, but have finished my last few days of graduate school (at least this time around). We started the module on Wed. with Candidacy Assessment. It was such a wonderful experience. Other days were filled with epistemology, ethics, and self-marketing. There are no more papers to write, no more exams to take--only the task of deciding how I want to proceed. One of the most valuable exercises was a day-long session on values and purpose. Some of the questions got me thinking. What am I taking on and why? What core values do I want to bring to my work?

Everything feels like it's in slow motion for me. I don't know if that's entirely because I'm sick, or if it also has to do with making this final transition.

There were many tears, difficult goodbyes, and memories from the past two years. A dear friend of mine made a slide show that captured many such moments as a gift to our class and played it to a song called "Add to the Beauty." It was a wonderful, heartfelt, loving gift. It was also one of my favorite moments, sitting with all of my classmates on the floor watching, laughing. It's hard for me to fathom what an impact this program has had on my life--and it has filtered out and touched many others.

So, yes, it was sad. Yet, there was also this sense of anticipation in the air. Of what may not yet be before us, but what is right around the corner.

Leaving on a jetplane

Today B. and I are flying to Nashville for his niece's baptism. Both of us are wishing we had a day off to ourselves before leaving. This starts a very hectic period for me, as I return from Nashville for one day to see all my clients and then have module the next day.

I'm looking forward to seeing his family though. I hope it is relaxing and fun, not stressful. It's hard to imagine that it's in the upper 70s there right now. I've gotta run finish packing.

Express yourself like a thousand-foot waterfall

I had to have a very difficult conversation today with a colleague about some feedback I gave her during assessment. It really was not easy for me, but I left feeling good about it. My friend was a bit surprised that I did not take back what I had said and stood by the feedback I had given her.

It's a little funny--that conversation was more scary for me than last weekend when I was walking on our roof, tied to a rope, and precariously balancing very high in the air while painting the house. Life is funny. I just read my horoscope for this week. It is perfect:

Fee Will Astrology
You could be like a thunderstorm that rejuvenates a parched landscape. At the same time, you have the power to express yourself like a thousand-foot waterfall. Why not take advantage of both these potentials? Be both helpful and charismatic, nurturing and alluring. Be of humble service as you flout your magnificence. This is one of those grace periods when you can do good and look good and feel good. I hereby dub thee the Flow Master.

There is something beautiful and powerful about speaking the truth, my truth. Learning to do so is till a little uneasy for me. Yet, I still feel very good about the outcome of what happened and how I brought myself fully, no apologies.

Butter Tarts

I've tried to make B.'s birthday as special as I can. However, it's been a little challenging, because he called an electrician yesterday to come out and look at the wiring in the living room. So, of course, the electrician came today.

It really needs to be finished today, because we are leaving for Nashville on Friday and then I have module (the last one) right after that. Yesterday in between doing my taxes I managed to get B. a nice wool sweater from Patagonia (he wears his others non-stop). But he opened it last night, as it was officially the time of his birth in Poland.

Before the electrician came, our plan was to go have breakfast at the market --crepes at a little European pastry shop. Then that turned into lunch and drinks overlooking the water. Now, it's approaching dinnertime and we are waiting patiently for the electrician to return from Home Depot with some special flexible drill bit he can use to get through the walls without hurting the original plaster in the house (from 1924).

B. has been a great sport though. I went to PCC and got us lots of treats--two kinds of soup, a caprese sandwich, fresh beets, a bottle of wine for later (Goats do Roam--you've got to love the name), and a delicious pear tart, which I happened to get a single candle for.

Tonight, once the electrician leaves, we are planning to go to Majorie's for dinner and then go see a play or comedy. We may not be doing anything adventurous today, but sometimes I love that about us. We can have such a good time just being together, not doing anything at all.

Inbox

Dear TurboTax Customer,
Congratulations - the IRS has accepted your federal tax return. We recommend that you return to TurboTax to finish the e-filing process and print a copy of your return for your records. :)

Taxes are done!

Doing taxes on my own--Schedule C, Schedule A, Schedule SE, Form 8829 Business Use of Home, Form 4562 Depreciation and Amortization--is not something I'm likely to ever do again.

Last year I used an amazing accountant. But, unfortunately, this year I didn't have time to get her all the information she would need to file a return in time for the extension deadline.

I've been at it for hours and hours--and I still have a slight question in my mind about whether I messed up horribly. I ended up having a large amount of deductions with medical expenses, business expenses, school tuition, and a couple of large purchases, such as my computer and extensive"reference materials". I'm sending it out to the universe that although I had to struggle my way through my taxes, that I did a fine job on them. :)

Now the taxes are out of the way--tomorrow is all about celebrating with the man I adore. He's going to turn 32. I keep joking that now he will be an "old man". I suppose it's a way for me to make light that we are a couple of years apart.
I bought the Live from the Mountain Vol. 13 today and have really been enjoying it, especially Fidelity by Regina Spektor. The album has other great artists I happen to like as well: Shawn Colvin, Ray LaMontagne, and Brandi Carlile.

Beautiful fall days

After working on the house all weekend, today feels like a weekend to me--or at least I want it to be. The problem is that today I need to do my taxes, which I got an extension on and I have a ton of other things to catch up on. Tomorrow is B.'s birthday and there are a few things I need to do for that as well. It just seems like there just is not enough time right now. B. and I managed to go to breakfast yesterday, which was really nice. Here are some pictures of the beautiful fall colors and our painting adventures.

Gratitude

I was a little sad this morning, because I woke up after having a horrible nightmare. It was heavily influenced by a very difficult session I had late last night. I've also been so busy this week. It's been stressful driving here for appointments, then across Seattle to the massage school, and then back to Renton and home to Seattle. Plus, B. and I had a real estate agent come look at the house a few days ago. I've been really sad--no, depressed--about the idea of selling.

I love my house. I love that the dogs have a big yard to run and play in. I love being so close to the water. I love that B. and I have our own space and that we have a beautiful bedroom and bathroom with a huge tub to relax in. I love the apples in the fall and all the different flowers that bloom in the spring. I love having my own office and many spots to curl up and read.

So, driving to work this morning, I called Lisa. I feel like I complained for 5 minutes straight. I said I needed to get into a better mood before seeing my new clients at 10:00. Lisa said to me, "At least you get to see couples" (Which I love). My session was amazing. I feel really connected to my clients and am so excited about working with them.

So right now I'm sitting with Gratitude that I get the pleasure of working with and helping couples. :) I really have so much to be thankful for in my life. I just need to remember that and not let all the little things get me down. I know it will all work out.

And while thinking about houses and moving, well wouldn't it be nice to have a house like this one, right on the water? It would be absolutely wonderful to be by the ocean...

What a nice way to start the week

Today feels like Sunday, not Monday. I suppose that's because it's a holiday. B. and I slept in this morning (and still managed to get up relatively early). Then we walked to Susan's 1500 Bistro with the dogs to have breakfast. It was the perfect walk--a little less than 3 miles. All the leaves are starting to change colors and it was crisp and cool outside. Plus, I was able to show B. the location of the office space that's for rent.

I had such a great time yesterday. Lisa and I decided to stop at Lottie's to have a drink and we met B. there. It feels so good to almost be done with school and to just sit, laugh, and socialize. The three of us were laughing so hard we hardly noticed that it got dark outside. That's the shame about this time of year--not enough daylight.

It's been a whirlwind of a weekend

The dogs are happy...though they are driving me crazy this weekend, or at least Luna my love is. My dad and brother came up yesterday to help with the yard, for if and when we sell the house. It was actually very sweet, my dad, who has been encouraging me to sell the house for some time said that he hopes all the work is in vein and that we don't have to sell the house. People are funny. B. and I have taken more trips to Lowe's and Home Depot this weekend than we have all year it seems. Now, he is resting before seeding the yard. I'm going to meet Lisa and walk around the city.

I had my last Pro-Sem on Thursday and so now, just have one more module, assessment, and the completion of my internship.

By the way, the office space was very nice and the woman renting turned out to be a LIOS grad. I wonder if that's a sign, I think it is a good thing. We actually sat for almost an hour just chatting.

Office Space

A friend of mine found this when looking for office space for herself. She was not sure I was looking, but I am. I got very happy at the idea of having an office here, even if we do end up selling the house. I'm going to give the person subletting a call today. It feels like a lot of things are finally coming together.

Bright, large furnished office in friendly Seward Park. Ample parking. Rent and days per week are negotiable.

One step closer...

Yeah! I sent the assessment package off in the mail today. It feels good to have it done. I'm so glad that I sat down and wrote on Mon. (B. helped me a lot, telling me that I had to do it and refusing to let me procrastinate by going shopping with him).

I'm feeling incredibly sick today and have clients for almost 8 hours straight. I brought lots of Vitamin C and tea and am hoping for some stamina and for my throat to stop hurting. I'm just glad the paper and gazillion forms are out of the way. I think this might be the first time I've written a paper days before it's due. It's a good feeling.

I feel ready for the next stage of my life; I am ready to finish my internship and to begin working with clients the way I want to.

I'm actually looking forward to the assessment process this time, because it's really much more than that. It's saying goodbye to this chapter of my life, leaving my professors who are dear to me and who have contributed so much to my life and my growth. Thinking about that aspect of assessment fills me with gratitude.

"When you come to the edge of all that you know and are about to step into the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen:There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."

I'm realizing that the hardest parts of my journey at LIOS, I was being taught how to fly...

One final paper to go...

It is all coming to an end. I have a mix of excitement and bewilderment at what it all means, stepping out, the start of my professional life as a therapist, sadness for saying goodbye to some of my classmates and the LIOS experience, and joy in looking toward the future and watching my dreams unfold. Because my schedule is so crazy this week, I need to write my paper (or at least get a draft done) today. My head is not really in a writing place. But after a walk, some good coffee, and finding a way to sit myself down, I will be ready.