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Wednesday, May 31

Unearthed Treasure

With the help of a friend, I recently cleaned out my storage unit, which I've had since 2001. (Yes, even after buying a house!) I knew I had a lot of my books from college, a large Japanese doll--the kind the region I lived in was famous for--that my school gave me when I left Japan, some old camera equipment, artwork from China that I never got framed, and other items from my study abroad program in college.

I had forgotten about other things. Love letters. A book my students made for me. Hiking boots that I badly needed. Old short stories. And, among all the other little items, I found a stack of letters from my mom.

Nothing in the world could be worth more to me.

It is our light, not our darkness

“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous,
handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not
serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love

I wanted to share this, as it is a message that appears again and again in my life. I can't seem to get away from it. It's in the books I read; it appears in my horoscope. Maybe soon enough I'll get the message...

Who Knew?

Seattle, or rather Tukwilla, has a post office that’s open until midnight. That's great news for people like me who have the disease of procrastination and need to have packages post marked by a given date. Like an assessment paper…

Anh kept calling me, asking if I had sent it in, so she could stop worrying about me. I love having a learning partner!

I worked like mad to finish mine and then mailed it last night at 8:00. The post office by the airport saved me.

Now, I’m at home with a bad cold, looking forward to lying in bed and reading all day...

Monday, May 29

Family Constellation Training

During last module at LIOS, someone came and demonstrated Family Constellation Work in a three-hour session. I witnessed and participated in a session with one of my classmates and found that it not only provided great healing for her, but that it also impacted many other participants, including myself. I really don't have words to describe how incredibly powerful it was. From the little I am learning about following my own intuition, I think this work is something that I would really enjoy and could use in my future practice. So, I've decided to register for a full weekend of training with one of the leaders in the field who is visiting from Germany.

"Family Constellation Work is based on Bert Hellinger’s discovery of the phenomena of the hidden bond and deep loyalty (“orders of love”) within the family system that creates a field. This field is integral to Family Constellation Work where the discovery of people’s entanglements in the fates of previous members of their families is brought to light in a respectful manner. Once in the open, it can then enable them to find a resolution that honors everyone without any judgments. Love heals, so the aim is to restore the flow of love in the family system. This work can assist in healing from the ancestral, biological roots as we are all part of a family system."

According to Dan Booth Cohena, who designed Longitudinal Outcome Study of the Systemic Constellation Method for treating Complicated Grief: "The systemic family constellation method of Bert Hellinger diverges from the conventional methods of psychotherapy in five radical respects: First, the clients hardly speaks; second, the process is a singular intervention that is not repeated; third, critical information that serves to reveal hidden entanglements and possible solutions within the system is supplied by surrogates who have no actual knowledge about family, fourth, the client's parents are not to be blamed for anything, and fifth, the client’s issues are not pathologized."

The training is not included in tuition, and it's rather expensive. I'm sure it will also be quite tiring to be in class all day Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And yet I'm excited, because I feel called to this work.

The Other Side

Last night I went to watch a movie at SIFF called Reflective Properties. It turned out to be a series of short films ranging from 3-40 minutes. Nestled in the middle was The Other Side, one of the longer films that was about immigration from Mexico to the United States. As the narrator (who had a voice that would have been great for radio) drove from the Southwest to California, he interviewed migrant workers, coyotes or paid guides, and aid organizations that try to help immigrants who are stranded in the desert by building water stations and patrolling for those who are sick and dehydrated.

It was an amazing film with rich videography and a wide range of perspectives. One of my favorite parts of the movie was looking at the border walls themselves, many of which were in very poor condition. There were two that struck me, one that that extended out into the Pacific Ocean and disappeared into the water and another that was made of corrugated steal. It, too, extended for miles beyond what the eye could see. On the Mexican side, people of a nearby village had painted murals on the wall. It was lined with white crosses in remembrance of people who had died attempting to cross the border. On the wall, there was also a lot of graffiti. In big white letters, someone had painted “A BRIDGE IS A WALL TURNED ON ITS SIDE.”

The narrator talked about the great sadness of these walls, that walls are erected where the power of ideas ceases to be enough. They signify the limitations of those who are in control.

In an effort to decrease the number of immigrants, border control has concentrated its efforts on more populated areas, and so people are now crossing at the most remote and dangerous parts of the desert. (Check out this blog on Humane Borders). Sadly, these efforts have not affected the number of immigrants at all. Instead, there are more deaths than ever. Today, there are more than 3,000 people who attempt to cross from in and around Nogales Mexico to Nogales Arizona each day.

As it has become so much more dangerous, immigrants are using Coyotes, or paid guides more in attempts to cross the border. A number of years ago, it cost $250 for a guide to help someone cross the border; now, the average price is $1,500 to $2,000 per person. With that kind of money involved, many drug and weapons smugglers have realized that there is more money in human trafficking than even in smuggling cocaine.

The narrator ends by suggesting that the real problem is not about the fact that these immigrants are undocumented, but rather that they are poor. Illegal immigration does place a burden on resources, there's no arguing that. Illegal immigrants use emergency services, don’t have health insurance, and fail to pay taxes. But those are things that are true for American citizens working below the poverty line as well.

Although coyotes--and even Samaritans who aid those crossing the border with food and water--are seen as criminals in aiding illegal immigration, isn’t the problem actually bigger? The movie ends by saying that our economy benefits by having guest workers. And the problem is not going to get better until we realize that. With people offering jobs under the table, benefiting from undocumented labor, aren’t we all contributing to this problem?

Hear "All Things Considered" with an interview with former Mexican foreign minister Jorge Castaneda on the subject.

Sunday, May 28

From the rain

It’s a rainy Sunday morning. I’m telling you this, because if it was nice outside, I don’t imagine I would be creating a blog at all. Truth be told, I believe that blogs are utterly and completely narcissistic. Then why have one, you ask?

I’m a writer, but I have a joke with many of my writer friends that I’m the quintessential writer who doesn’t write. A writer who doesn’t write! Although I make my living as a feelance writer, it’s been many years since I’ve done very much personal writing, and I want to change that.

In the past few years, a lot of people have suggested that I create a blog. But, funny enough, like most writers I know, I’m also a real introvert. (Yes, I know I’m incredibly outgoing, but according to the Myers-Briggs test, I’m not an extrovert!) I don’t share the desire to tell strangers about my life and have real trepidation about sharing what I think are somewhat insignificant details of my life with others.

And yet writing in journal after journal allows me so much safety. When I think back on the greatest moments of my life, they are often when I have taken huge risks. This is a risk for me. Stating to others that I intend to write more leads to a sort of accountability--even if only a few people ever look at this.

The name of this blog, Dance of the Dragonfly, has meaning for me as well. I’ve always been attracted to dragongflies, for no real reason. That’s made me curious. Recently, I found out a little about dragonfly symbolism. I’m going through a period of monumental change in my life and there are many things that ring true for me about how I want to live and be in this world. The dragonfly combines the grace of a butterfly with an aspect of change and growth. It just seemed fitting. "Dragonflies are reminders that we are light and can reflect the light in powerful ways if we choose to do so."

Along with wanting to establish a routine and forum for writing everyday—or at least as often as possible—I also wanted a way to document my journey. I’m currently in school to become a counselor through the Leadership Institute of Seattle (LIOS) at Bastyr University. I’d like to have a place to integrate what we are learning and to talk about some of the incredible books on our 23-page reading list. And then there are pictures and stories of Koya, my crazy adventures, and travel photographs I would like to share with others…


I’m curious as to how this will unfold. How much will I share? Will I disclose personal things—things that matter? Will I play it safe? Will I actually write more than I do now? I guess only time will tell. I can’t wait to see…