Change, rippling outward

I finished the last mini module this afternoon and am now moving on to a new chapter in my life. Our curriculum on assessment and diagnosis (DSM IV) was lacking compared to the quality of instruction I’m used to at LIOS. In a large part, I was disappointed as I thought this weekend would give me much needed information on differential diagnosis before I begin my internship.

I don’t think it’s fully sunk in that this year is over or that very very soon I will be sitting with clients. Most students are starting their internships in January and I think it’s rather ironic that as much as I’d like additional guidance, I’m the first one thrown in. Lately, some of my close friends have been teasing me, because in all other areas of my life (areas that don’t require me to trust myself in the same way), I feel very comfortable; I can jump in and start swimming.

I’ve got a few days before Thanksgiving to relax and prepare myself mentally for what’s just around the corner. After that, I’ve got a last-minute work project. Then, a couple of days later, I will begin going into the office. There is some comfort in the fact that I will get to observe several sessions before sitting with clients on my own.

Today at lunch, a few friends and I were reflecting on the incredible changes the members of our class have gone through. There have been divorces and separations, people questioning their relationships--and their own sexuality--family deaths, pregnancies, job changes, the list goes on. Our relationships with both our immediate families and our families of origin have changed as well. Many people with children say that they can see reflections of what they've learnt changing interactions with their children. It’s almost unfathomable to see how the changes in ourselves have affected so many surrounding lives. I suppose I’m seeing how systems really work. Even a small change ripples outward...

I know that I’m a very different person than when I started the program. I may be a bit more cynical, but I know so much more about myself. Some of the changes I’ve undergone personally have not been easy, but I would not change them for anything. This program is one of the more challenging and transformative experiences of my life, and I’m so very grateful for what it has given me.