My Nazi fascist super ego

I turned in my case study at 7 this evening. When I started working on it, I thought it would only take a few hours…more than eight hours later, I was still trying to make changes.

During the discussion of our beginning counseling theory papers, which rocked by the way, my professor spoke about how our group had very high standards and that she has not had a group of papers in many years in which none required rewriting. I have tremendous respect for the people in my Pro-Sem group, so was not surprised when Alex noticed the dedication and commitment the members seem to share.

After discussing my paper, however, the topic of perfectionism came up. I admit that I demand a great deal of myself and tend to beat myself up when I fall short of those expectations. Alex brought this the forefront of my mind when she said in the nicest way possible that I had a, “Nazi fascist super ego that I needed to tell to fuck off” and that she could almost see this character hitting me over the head with a hammer.

What she said may seem harsh, but honestly it just made me laugh, because I know it’s at least partially true. A close friend of mine who is a freelancer even called me a Nazi editor once. I mention this, because even after slaving all day on the case study, I fear that it’s not good enough. The reality, as history has shown me, is that the case study is probably fine. More than fine. Then where does this delusional thought that it's not good enough come from?

And how do I get rid of the woman yielding a hammer over my head?