This thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down.

You may have a fresh start at any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~Mary Pickford

I had lunch with Zia today, which was great as I haven’t seen her in weeks. She made my day when she said that she’s never seen me as direct or strong—I can’t remember exactly what she said—as I was that afternoon. Usually, I wouldn’t even hear her compliment. Or if I did, I would dismiss it.

But stating clearly what I want and how I feel is something I’ve been working hard as hell on, and it feels good to have friends who have known me for years notice. I don’t know how much of it is due LIOS or kung fu, or simply setting the intention of changing. I think it has a little to do with all of those things. And, as I said to Zia, it’s still a process that I’m taking one step at a time.

During module, someone in my I-Group said that they had a judgment about me, that whenever someone else was having difficulty, that it seemed hard for me to sit with their discomfort; that I was quick to jump in and try to help. I had to laugh, because what she said is true, and I readily admit it. Worring about others has been a pattern for a long time, and though I’m working on it, change comes in small increments.