I'm listening

I had to go to MSFT for a meeting today for a new project on Windows Mobile. There are few things I hate in this world. I don't even like to use the word. But I hate going there. It’s funny, since I decided to pursue what I feel is my real calling, I get offered so much freelance work for Microsoft. It reminds me of something I read in Sacred Contracts. We all have the prostitute as one of our basic archetypes. The question is where do we draw the line? For what do we prostitute ourselves and our values?

We all come into this world with "Sacred Contracts," according to bestselling author Caroline Myss. Some know it as a calling. Some see it as a life mission. "In short, a Sacred Contract is an agreement your soul makes before you are born," Myss explains. "You promise to do certain things for yourself, for others, and for divine purposes. Part of the Contract requires that you discover what you are meant to do." Herein lies the rub. Decoding our Sacred Contract requires us to become fluent in the language of symbols and archetypes so that we can interpret dreams, understand the meaning behind "coincidences," and learn to follow our intuition. This is why Myss (The Anatomy of the Spirit) offers an extensive lesson on helping readers recognize their personal archetypes (we have about 12 of them), such as the Avenger (righteous activists), Networker (journalists, messengers), or Prostitute (someone who "sells out" easily).

After our very painful meeting (it’s always the same meeting, no matter who the participants are or really what the subject matter is) Marc and I grabbed sushi. It was really nice. I haven't had a chance to talk to him in a while. I miss the close contact of sharing an office. And I miss the way he made me laugh (though mostly it was at myself).

On the way out of the restaurant, I saw a gigantic dragonfly. I had to ask myself what it meant. I think it was a (pretty huge) reminder that I am changing my life and that I won’t have to do this forever. For now, freelancing helps me to support myself while in school and lends me a great deal of flexibility. It’s just not what I’m meant to do long term. I think looking at this project and freelancing in general in such a way will help me from getting caught up in the drama and politics of it all.

I've got another migraine today. This time, I'm well aware of the signals my body is giving me.