You are where you are because of what you were when…

“i'm gonna stop at every truck stop
make small talk with waiters and truck driving men.
i'm gonna drive under skyline and sunshine,
drink good wine in vineyards, and get asked to dance…”

Instead of staying in, I decided to take a drive to the Sea Shack, where there was wine tasting from the Nehalem Bay Winery. The Sea Shack is in the town of Wheeler, population 350. I was writing in my journal at the bar and one of the locals struck up conversation.

I didn’t get asked to dance (there was actually no dancing there), but every man in the bar tried to buy me a drink. I accepted as many as I could, and sat and talked about psychology, family history, and relationships for hours. Don, the man who greeted me, told me about a sociology class that he took in community college called "You are where you are because of what you were when..."

I thought about the parallels of ideas in The Intimacy Paradox: Personal Authority in the Family System and Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions. And, when another man at the bar started talking about the things he learned from his father and the restraining orders that his ex-wife filed, I tried to stop myself from being judgmental.

Most of the people I met were on their 3rd or 4th marriage and had lived in this little town their whole lives. I loved hearing their stories.

When I was in college, taking advanced classes in fiction and poetry, I used to fantasize about moving to a small town and working at a truck stop or a little greasy spoon and just watching people, listening until their words filled my head with quirky dialogue and fodder for rich characters.

Now, I’m seeing that those people, those characters, are everywhere—not just in little towns. I just have to open my eyes and soak it all in. Really meet people where they are at and listen openly to them.

In a way, staying here at the beach is much like the life I always imagined as a writer. Maybe one day, when I’m old and gray this will be my life. I will be like Dianne Keaton in “Something’s Gotta Give.”

I was planning on heading back today, taking my time. But I'm having such a blast, I might stay longer. Plus, the sun is out for the first time in days...