Standing Still

I had lunch with Lisa this afternoon. It was so great to see her and just have an hour to laugh and play.

I did a "live" session earlier today and it went really well. My supervisor said I did a beautiful job. I was a little releived that three of the students in my supervision group were actually at module (they belong to a different class at LIOS) and so not many people were watching.

Although the feedback from my supervisor was really good (and mostly positive), the most significant piece of feedback came from one of my colleagues who is a LIOS grad. She said that I rushed in to soothe the client's pain. That is a big challenge for me.

A dear friend of mine commented that the fact my heart goes out to people who are wounded and hurting is wonderful and will never, ever go away. It is an integral part of who I am in this world. I actually don’t want it to go away. But, I have to stop wanting to save people; I have to be able to be o.k. with others being in pain. It is in their sitting with the pain and working through it that enables them to move forward. I want to learn to hold both—to be nurturing, loving, giving, and to challenge my clients and others I care about to find the answers within themselves.

Later, I found how difficult holding both can be when a young girl came in who had recently lost her mother. Talk about being triggered. I think I made every mistake in the book and wanted to comfort her so badly.

I have to remember that we get clients who are perfect for our own learning. I have a feeling this one will teach me a lot about how to be nurturing--nurturing in a way that supports her and does not deprive her of the opportunity to develop resiliency and become stronger through her experience with grief.